Tiger Woods once texted that he wanted to choke, spank and pummel Joslyn James. Rachel Uchitel may want to do the same, albeit in a slightly different way.
Appearing on TMZ Live Friday to discuss her affair with David Boreanaz (classy), Rachel accused Joslyn of using her exploits with Tiger to become a celebrity.
Which is true, but that's like the pot calling the kettle black.
Calling Uchitel a hypocritical liar, Joslyn James responds: "I find it extremely funny that she is choosing to bash me in saying I am now making a career for myself from Tiger. Oh yeah, that's right. She got PAID by Tiger to keep her mouth shut."
Also true. Keep it going, ladies!
Meow! The claws are out between Rachel Uchitel and Joslyn James!
"I find it funny that she says she was 'well known' before Tiger," James added. "I never heard of her before that. I was an actress and a dancer ... I gave that up because I was fooled in a relationship with Tiger, and merely went back to what I was doing."
So basically, she was a porn star, then a Tiger Woods mistress, then a porn star making a Tiger-themed porno based on her stint as a Tiger Woods mistress.
Makes perfect sense to us!
As for Rachel Uchitel, she says the alleged text messages to David Boreanaz (the married star she can still talk about legally), were fabricated and all lies.
"That's not how I talk," she says. "That's just not how we spoke to each other."
She cites an error in the messages that proves her case: "The man knows how to spell his wife's name!" Uchitel insists. "On those text messages that I saw, her name was spelled wrong. Why would he spell his wife's name wrong?"
Uhh, because he was sexting you at the time and the keys are really small?
What's funnier, that two Tiger Woods mistresses are arguing over who's a bigger attention whore, or the fact that one also slept with Bones star David Boreanaz?
Like Joslyn James and Tiger Woods, Rachel insists she was misled by Boreanaz: "I was in a relationship with somebody that made it very clear that he loved me, wanted to be with me, cared very much about me, wanted me to wait for him."
"I didn't see it as this thing where I was trying to break up a marriage."
Right, you just single out married celebrities by coincidence, Rache.
