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Saturday, November 7, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
In grade school, making friends was a snap. You looked around the classroom, located a kid whose jumper you liked, bonded over a shared hatred of math, and voila – you were BFFs (or at least BFs until the next grade.)
After college, however, making new friends becomes increasingly more difficult. It's hard to know whether people are open to having a new friend or are just being polite, and it can be tricky finding people you hit if off with, especially when you've moved to a new place. Although it may take some effort, finding new BFFs isn't impossible however.
Tip #1: Hang Out With Co-Workers
Perhaps the easiest way to make new friends is to hang-out with the people you spend most of your time with anyway. If you work at the same company or have similar jobs, then you already have something in common and studies have shown that having at least one work friend reduces stress levels and increases work productively significantly.
If there aren't already any built-in opportunities for socializing at your office, try sending a casual email to see if anyone wants to meet up for lunch or knows any good places for after-work drinks. Just be careful that you don't fall into a trap and gossip and/or bad-mouth your boss as a way to get chummy after-hours. You may think what you've said is in confidence, but it could come back to haunt you.
Tip #2: Figure Out What You're Looking for in a Friend
Many dating columnists, myself included, always stress making a list about what you want in a potential mate before you begin dating, and, likewise, it's equally beneficial to make a list of you want in a friend. Of course, everyone hopes that to find friends who are caring and honest, but try to be more specific: what do you envision yourself doing with your new friends? Do you want a shopping partner? An art-loving friend who will check out museums with you? A friend who has the same spiritual beliefs? If you can decide specifically what interests you'd like your future friends to share, you'll have an easier time finding ways, such as joining a Meetup.com group, to meet those types of people.
Tip #3: Make Personal Business Cards
You never know where you might meet a potential friend: the grocery store, a yoga studio, your university's alumni association. However, after chatting with someone, instead of just walking away, make an effort to exchange numbers or email or at least give them yours. If you don't want to give them your work email or phone number (especially if your boss isn't so keen on you making personal calls during the day) make up a personal business card with just your name, cell number, and/or email. Giving someone a business card is the easiest way to exchange info and many printing companies, like Vistaprint.com, offer free cards in exchange for putting their advertising on the back.
Tip #4: Avoid Potential Frenenemies
As much as you would like to make new friends, however, it's important not to befriend people who will ultimately cause you more distress than joy. As fabulous as a potential friend may be, if she is passive aggressive or if criticizes you, even subtly, then it's best to avoid her like the swine flu because, most likely, it will only get worse, not better.
Where are the best places to meet new friends post-college? Share your experiences in the comments section below.
Spruce up your love life
Makeover your relationship
As Americans, we love a good makeover. Just look at our films and TV shows: Pretty Woman, My Fair Lady, What Not to Wear, TBS' Movie and a Makeover, and, most recently, singer Susan Boyle of Britain's Got Talent who donned a new hairdo before making her stateside debut.
However, while it's not a wise idea to try to makeover a person who doesn't want to change (you should love the person you are with, hairy arms and all) – making over your relationship can help increase your overall happiness and satisfaction as a couple. Below are five ways to give your relationship a new look and feel.
1. Decide what your dream relationship would be
It's important when making the decision to makeover any part of your life, including your relationship, that you are able to articulate the specific changes that you want to make, both to yourself and to your partner. Think of this process as Extreme Makeover, Relationship Edition. Before you can start tearing down the walls, you have to know what you want to replace them with. Try observing the interactions of other couples that you admire and focus on specific behaviors, such as 'I want to fight less' and not generalizations like 'I want us to be happier.'
2. Nix destructive habits
In his book, Getting Together and Staying Together: Solving the Mystery of Marriage, Dr. William Glasser identifies seven of the most common and destructive relationship habits: complaining, criticizing, nagging, blaming, threatening, punishing, and bribing. Are you guilty of any of these? If so, becoming aware of the patterns that are hurtful to your relationship is the first step to changing and getting rid of them for good.
3. Spruce up your look as a couple
Have you gained weight over the years? Or has your hubby had the same hair cut since the 90's? Sometimes making over our physical selves can have a profound effect on our inner and emotional well-being. And you don't have to go to the extreme of plastic surgery to see a difference. Even small changes such as throwing out old clothes, starting an exercise program, or flipping through some magazines together for hairstyle inspiration can have a positive affect on your relationship.
4. Evaluate your communication style
Frustrated with the level (or lack of) communication in your relationship? Being able to communicate effectively is important to the success of a relationship and keeps it thriving. And while improving your communication skills as a couple is possible, it's not always easy, as people's different styles can sometimes clash. However, learning to really listen, showing respect, and focusing on your relationship during a conversation (and not just proving that you're right) will lead to improvement on the communication front.
5. Become closer
Lastly, break out of a relationship rut and reinvigorate your relationship by planning activities, trying new things together and discovering new interests as a couple. Not only can it breathe new life into a previously stale relationship, but it will also bring you closer than you were before, the ultimate goal of the relationship makeover.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
In grade school, making friends was a snap. You looked around the classroom, located a kid whose jumper you liked, bonded over a shared hatred of math, and voila – you were BFFs (or at least BFs until the next grade.)
After college, however, making new friends becomes increasingly more difficult. It's hard to know whether people are open to having a new friend or are just being polite, and it can be tricky finding people you hit if off with, especially when you've moved to a new place. Although it may take some effort, finding new BFFs isn't impossible however.
Tip #1: Hang Out With Co-Workers
Perhaps the easiest way to make new friends is to hang-out with the people you spend most of your time with anyway. If you work at the same company or have similar jobs, then you already have something in common and studies have shown that having at least one work friend reduces stress levels and increases work productively significantly.
If there aren't already any built-in opportunities for socializing at your office, try sending a casual email to see if anyone wants to meet up for lunch or knows any good places for after-work drinks. Just be careful that you don't fall into a trap and gossip and/or bad-mouth your boss as a way to get chummy after-hours. You may think what you've said is in confidence, but it could come back to haunt you.
Tip #2: Figure Out What You're Looking for in a Friend
Many dating columnists, myself included, always stress making a list about what you want in a potential mate before you begin dating, and, likewise, it's equally beneficial to make a list of you want in a friend. Of course, everyone hopes that to find friends who are caring and honest, but try to be more specific: what do you envision yourself doing with your new friends? Do you want a shopping partner? An art-loving friend who will check out museums with you? A friend who has the same spiritual beliefs? If you can decide specifically what interests you'd like your future friends to share, you'll have an easier time finding ways, such as joining a Meetup.com group, to meet those types of people.
Tip #3: Make Personal Business Cards
You never know where you might meet a potential friend: the grocery store, a yoga studio, your university's alumni association. However, after chatting with someone, instead of just walking away, make an effort to exchange numbers or email or at least give them yours. If you don't want to give them your work email or phone number (especially if your boss isn't so keen on you making personal calls during the day) make up a personal business card with just your name, cell number, and/or email. Giving someone a business card is the easiest way to exchange info and many printing companies, like Vistaprint.com, offer free cards in exchange for putting their advertising on the back.
Tip #4: Avoid Potential Frenenemies
As much as you would like to make new friends, however, it's important not to befriend people who will ultimately cause you more distress than joy. As fabulous as a potential friend may be, if she is passive aggressive or if criticizes you, even subtly, then it's best to avoid her like the swine flu because, most likely, it will only get worse, not better.
Where are the best places to meet new friends post-college? Share your experiences in the comments section below.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tila Tequila Auctions Off Her Breasts
Tila Tequila has a large pair of breasts and... not much else to offer society.
Therefore, it's nice to see the bisexual celebrity at least putting her one asset to good use.
She's taking part on an online auction sponsored by the Keep A Breast Foundation, which donates all money received for painted, plaster breast casts to cancer research, detection and prevention.
So far, the highest bid for a copy of Tila's boobs is $44,500. The auction will be open through November 6.
“I am so excited to be able to work with Keep A Breast Foundation!” Tila wrote on her blog. “It’s a great charity... and now my boobies are at $44,500.00!!. Incredible!!! I’m gonna cry of joy!"
Tequila has promised to call - and kiss! - the winner of her auction. She'll also donate $10,000 for people to Tweet about the Keep A Breast Foundation and the bidding.
We never thought we'd say this, but: great job Tila Tequila! Way to put your breasts to work in a way that doesn't involve random fondling and exposure.
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