Studies show numerous benefits when mom has a doula – a woman trained to provide physical, emotional and informational support during labor, birth and the immediate postpartum period -- present during labor and birth, but what about dads? Your partner may have questions and concerns about the doula’s role and how he will work with her to give you the support you need during labor. I’ve been a doula for nearly a decade and have supported many dads along the way. Here are some tips to help dads fully participate in the “doula decision” – and of course, during the birth of your baby. Be an active participant in prenatal meeting
It’s important to meet your doula in advance to ask questions about how she can help during labor, see if she shares the same philosophy and if she’s a good fit. It’s important for partners to attend these meetings so they have a chance to ask questions or share concerns.Be clear about your expectations
It’s important to express your wishes for labor and birth and discuss how hands-on or off he plans to be. If you choose to write a birth plan, be sure to share it with your partner and the doula. Even if unexpected situations arise – or you change your mind about something in your original plan – if the three of you discuss your wishes ahead of time, the doula will be able to provide the best support she can.The doula won’t replace his very important role
Many dads-to-be wonder what they’ll do during labor if a doula is present. My husband was concerned about this when we were pregnant with our first eleven years ago. “I didn’t understand what a doula was and thought she was going to shut me out of the process,” he says. Together, we chose not to hire a doula for this reason.Doulas support the family, not only mom
While doulas traditionally “mother the mother” supporting partners can also be a big part of the job. According to DONA International, the leading certification organization for doulas (full disclosure – I’m certified with DONA), dads tend to stay more involved with their partner instead of pull away during times of stress when a doula provides support. My husband found this to be true when we decided to hire doulas for the birth of our second child. “Because they were there it made me worry less,” he explains. “I was able to be there more for my wife than I thought I could have been and I really enjoyed the process.”A doula can take the pressure off
Even when dad attends childbirth classes, he shouldn’t be expected to remember everything or be able to “coach” mom. Doulas can help take the pressure off dads, allowing them to relax and give their full attention to their partners. Doula support also gives dad a chance to rest and re-charge which is especially important if labor lasts into the night.Keep the lines of communication open with your doula and your partner. Together you can create a supportive team to help you have a safe, satisfying birth as you define it.
