Showing posts with label Kourtney Kardashian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kourtney Kardashian. Show all posts

Kardashian Klip: Should You Spread Mayo on Your Vagina?

We understand that the body parts on Kourtney, Khloe and Kim Kardashian are pretty much all these professional celebrities have going for them.
Still, can someone tell these reality stars to stop talking about their vaginas in public?
Book Signing Photo
It was bad enough that we had to watch Kourtney give Khloe a bikini wax.
Then, last night, the sisters appeared on Conan and brought up a Twitter discussion two of them had about spreading mayonnaise on one's private region. Kim actually had to be the voice of reason and tell her siblings:
"Don't you guys realize that most of our fans are under the age 18 and you are bad influences on them? Talking about putting mayonnaise on your thing is not appropriate."
Below, watch the entire exchange, laugh at Conan's expression and shake your head over the state of a society that holds these women in such esteem.


The Kardashians on Conan
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Kardashian Konfidential: Aktually Koming Soon!

The fact that Kourtney, Khloe and Kim Kardashian are koming out with an advice book is humorous enough on its own.
But the ridiculousness gets even better, as the tome will be titled "Kardashian Konfidential."
Why is this so funny? Because the sisters haven't kept anything confidential in years! Desperate for attention, they talk about babies, fashion, weight loss, Botox, big breasts and anything that will put money in their pockets to anyone that will listen.
Adding to the hilarity, a source said the book will have "lots of pictures," which is a given. Those are the only kinds of books these siblings read themselves.
Kourtney, Khloe, Kim
Kardashian Konfidential will be published this November by St. Martin's Press. It's unknown at the moment how much it will retail for, but we can say this with konfidence:
Tack on a couple hundred dollars to whatever the book costs. That should kover the therapy sessions for anyone that actually pays money for advice from Kourtney, Khloe and Kim Kardashian.
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Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami: Season Two Premiere Review

We make fun of Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian. A lot. Often. Pretty much every chance we get.
But what kind of credibility would we have if we simply bashed these talentless celebrities from afar? Hilarious clips that showcase clearly scripted fights and arguments might be worthy of our mockery, but readers have told us to give full episodes a shot.
Therefore, we've assigned an intern this nauseating task. She suffered in front of her TV on Sunday night and filed this report on the season premiere of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami...
If anyone knows how to rock reality TV, it’s the Kardashians.  These girls were built in the public eye and despite having the tabloids follow their every move, they can still film an interesting show with things we haven’t yet seen.  On Sunday, these two outspoken sisters proved they can do just that.
Aptly titled “Back in Miami," the episode focused on the two new additions to this family: the adorable baby Mason and the infamous Scott Disick.  While we haven’t seen much from the latter yet, the previews assure us that his notorious antics are yet to come.
Kourtney and Khloe Wallpaper
While Kourtney tackles new motherhood, Khloe struggles with the fact that she’s leaving her new husband (Lamar Odom, of course) behind. 
Honestly, while Lamar seems like a standup guy and it’s wonderful how in love he and Khloe are, the baby talk between the pair has GOT TO GO.  Producers, editors, please: my gag reflex can only take so much.  The only goo-goo ga-ga sounds should be coming from little Mason.
Granted, we don’t know the inner workings of every business move the Kardashians make, but it sucks Kourtney had to take the reigns with revamping the Miami Dash store.  However, people have their priorities and Khloe wasn’t feeling it.  On that note, Scott: Could you be more annoying?
You already know you tread on thin ice with your girlfriend’s family, don’t piss off the one who wouldn’t hesitate to punch you in the face.  That being said, keep rocking those Patrick Bateman suits and entertaining us with your royal douchery.
As for Dash, the real “reason” the sisters are in Miami, we all know that people are capable of sick things, but who the heck takes a sh*t in a dressing room of a boutique?  Just... wow. 
Hopefully these new employees will stick.  Love that Khloe wants to know which one of the girls talks about sex all the time.  Her response? “I don’t understand why everybody doesn’t want to talk about sex all the time.” Touché.
Solid start to what will surely be an entertaining and loosely filtered season. It’s crazy how much can really change in a year.  Last year, it was two single sisters ready to paint the town - and this year it’s a new mama and a new bride.
Whichever producer pressured the sisters to make such changes in their lives really deserves a raise.
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Kim v. Kourtney: Klash of the Similarly-Klad Kardashians

Their first names begin with the same letter, they share the same DNA and they collaborated on the same clothing line.

Now, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian are adding another similarity to their resume: they've been spotted out in the same dress from their Bebe-sponsored collection.

In separate public events, both sisters bared a shoulder and posed for the camera in the single-strapped black ensemble below. Kim accessorized with a dangling necklace, Kourtney showed off her neck.

Whose look do you prefer?

K vs.K

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Bruce Jenner Confirms: Kourtney's Baby Will Be Born!

This just in: Kourtney Kardashian will eventually have her baby!

Step-father Brunce Jenner assures fans that there's no chance the socialite will remain knocked up forever. He told E! News:

"I have great confidence she will get through this - that baby will be born."

While phrased oddly at first, Jenner was actually offering a few words of warning for Kourtney, adding: "Then the real tough stuff starts for her. You've got a little baby there for 24 hours a day, for the next 20 years!"

It's actually closer to 18 years for most parents, Bruce. But you don't have any experience with your children actually attending college.

Big Baby Bump

As for Kourtney, she's sick of packing on pounds.

"I weigh myself every day," she said. "I've gained 26 pounds since getting pregnant... I can't wait to sit down already. It's hard carrying extra weight."

Perhaps she should have thought of that before having unprotected sex with shady boyfriend Scott Disick.

Perhaps, also, she shouldn't look at this miraculous bundle of upcoming joy as "extra weight." Seriously. This kid is doomed.

READ MORE » Bruce Jenner Confirms: Kourtney's Baby Will Be Born!

Kourtney Kardashian Tweets Like a Twit: My Baby Moves!

Kourtney Kardashian is so special.

On Monday, she Tweeted the following, incredible news: "My baby is moving like crazy! Going to try and relax and sleep."

Thank goodness she alerted followers to that crucial information, but wouldn't it actually be more newsworthy if the child was NOT moving at this point in her pregnancy?

Kourtney Kardashian Baby Bump

Kourtney Kardashian: Pregnant, Tweeting, crying out for attention.

Meanwhile, shady baby daddy Scott Disick is continuing to say whatever will make him sound like a responsible father-to-be.

"We're home every night looking at baby books and baby magazines," he told Us Weekly. "I just want to stay home with her, enjoy her company, look at her stomach and be with her."

And speak to any celebrity gossip tabloid that calls, of course.

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Kim Kardashian Kritiques Kourtney Kardashian: She's a "Crazy Bitch"

According to Kim Kardashian, her sister is "huge" in two ways:

  1. As a woman that's approximately six months pregnant;
  2. As a bitch.

First, more obvious and less insulting things first.

Kim told E! News that Kourtney Kardashian - who is pregnant, in case you haven't heard - has a belly that is growing along with the human being inside of her. Incredible, we know.

"She's huge. She is huuuuge! I think she's in denial of buying maternity clothes, because she just borrows Khloe's clothes," Kim said, quickly explaining herself. "It's because Khloé is so much taller. Kourtney will take Khloé's top and wear it as a dress... She will not buy maternity clothes. I don't know what's wrong with her."

You mean, aside from a pathological need for attention? We don't know, either.

Kourt and Kim

As for the upcoming season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kim pretends as though Kourtney's pregnancy was not pitched to the family months ago by the writers. How dumb does she think we are?!?

"Kourtney is so moody," she said. "She is such a crazy bitch these days. She's so moody that I'm nervous to start shooting."

Just read the cue cards and you should be fine, Kim.

READ MORE » Kim Kardashian Kritiques Kourtney Kardashian: She's a "Crazy Bitch"