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In perhaps the craziest piece of Tiger Woods gossip to date, a respected sportswriter is claiming that the world's #1 golfer underwent reconstructive surgery.
After having his face broken by a golf club-wielding wife.
Furman Bisher cites, on his personal blog, inside sources telling him Tiger suffered a broken cheekbone and almost had his two front teeth knocked out.
He writes that the injuries are the real reason Woods has gone AWOL since his fight with Elin Woods and subsequent car crash right after Thanksgiving.
Bisher says a trustworthy journalist colleague sent him this information on Tiger, which he posted online to "present the picture in its clearest form."
However, the whole thing smells a bit like a hoax to us.
FORE: Did Elin Woods smash Tiger's cheating face with a 9-iron?
Don't get us wrong, we would not be surprised at all if Elin teed off on Tiger's face after what he pulled. But this scenario would be hard to conceal.
No police reports suggested Tiger's injuries were severe. Had they been, his wife likely wouldn't have been let off the hook after their investigation.
Moreover, for Tiger freaking Woods to undergo surgery without anyone knowing, during a global media firestorm no less, seems dubious at best.
But who knows. Bisher is considered one of the top golf writers, and goes into great detail about the attack and "cover up" that followed Tiger's crash.
His account states that Elin Woods drilled her husband in the face with a 9-iron after confronting him over text messages from Rachel Uchitel."
"At one point Tiger turned away to look at the TV, and as he turned back, Elin hit him on the right side of the face with the head of a 9-iron," he writes.
"When she struck Tiger, she made a huge gash in the right side of his face next to his nose (causing his nose to bruise some), and virtually knocking two of his upper teeth out, and breaking the bone on the upper right side."
MISTRESS #1: Rachel Uchitel's affair with Tiger Woods may or may not have led to a face-breaking, but it definitely shattered the golfer's formerly pristine reputation.
"Tiger ran scared as hell out of the house (which is why he had on no shoes) with Elin swinging the golf club wildly throughout the hallway to the garage."
Wow.
The source claims the first doctor Woods saw knows a cosmetic dentist and plastic surgeon in Phoenix who could make Tiger look as if nothing happened.
The Friday after Tiger was released from the hospital, he didn't return home; he boarded a private plane for Phoenix, where he stayed until last Wednesday.
Lastly, the insider says reports of Tiger and Rachel still hitting it are bogus, and while Elin has retained a divorce attorney, she has not filed any papers.
Whether this is true remains to be seen, but it would help explain why:
Tiger Woods' mistresses keep on piling up. The count is currently at seven as far as named flings are concerned, with several others waiting in the wings.
What began with just Rachel Uchitel has escalated into the wildest sex scandal in recent memory. Just today, we were introduced to #7, Holly Sampson.
But how do Rachel, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton, Cori Rist and Holly (in order below) stack up? Which would you rather ...
Vote in our survey below!
Which of Tiger Woods' mistresses would you rather ... you know?
It's not as interesting as gossip-craving readers might desire, but it does make sense: Rachel Uchitel canceled her press conference yesterday because of fear, secrets and simply wanting to get out of the spotlight as much as she can.
After phone calls back and forth between Rachel, Tiger and their respective camps, she pulled the plug on a news conference she had planned Thursday.
There were rumors Woods offered her $1 million to shut her yap, but there was no such deal made. A source said: "It was absolutely not about money."
Rachel Uchitel became "scared for her safety" since she knows so much about Tiger woods, his alleged affairs and a variety of other personal matters.
Tiger confided in Rachel, according to reliable sources: She knows specifics about "other women," as well as info about Tiger's marriage to Elin Woods.
Rachel does not fear Tiger himself, but more and more people are getting caught in this net by the day, and she doesn't want anything to do with them.
Instead of trying to cash in on her dalliances with the world's most famous athlete, Rachel Uchitel wants to disappear for a while. Who'd have guessed?
Rachel Uchitel's affair with Tiger Woods shocked the world.
In conclusion, there was no hush money involved, though Uchitel basically admitted having an affair with Woods, which the National Enquirer reported last week.
An apparent fight with Elin led to Tiger wrecking his car early last Friday, which then blew the lid off his extramarital affairs with Uchitel and later Jaimee Grubbs.
If there's anyone out there still living in a fantasy world and holding out hope that there's no proof Woods had an affair with any of these people ... think again.
Tiger Woods' childhood friend and employee, Bryon Bell, secretly flew Rachel Uchitel to Australia to be with him. An itinerary and emails between them prove it.
The exchanges between Rachel and Bryon Bell detail how Bryon set up a trip for her to fly last month from NYC to L.A. to Australia to Dubai and back to L.A.
In the emails, Bryon Bell wrote to Rachel, "Here are the details for all the flights. Sorry for all the changes. I look forward to meeting you tomorrow. Bryon."
Bryon, the President of Tiger Woods Design, purchased the ticket for Rachel and flew with her to Australia, where Tiger was playing the Australian Open.
Bell also paid for two rooms, including Rachel's room at the Crown Towers Hotel in Melbourne, the same place Tiger Woods was staying. Case closed.
Bryon Bell: Tiger Woods' friend, employee, and cheating facilitator.
The Tiger Woods scandal keeps leading to more shocking reports, such as this new one about Tiger's kinky sex life with - and dreams about - Rachel Uchitel.
Uchitel was the first woman named as a Tiger Woods mistress (he also saw Jaimee Grubbs nude 20 times and was linked to Kalika Moquin) late last week.
Rachel told pals she did drugs with the golf star before sex. Specifically, Uchitel told her friends that she and Tiger liked to get their freak on while taking Ambien.
"You have crazier sex on Ambien - you get that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex,'" a pal quoted her as saying regarding the insomnia medication.
Some people claim it enhances sexual experiences immediately after ingesting it, and apparently, Uchitel told friends that "Tiger Woods loves Ambien sex!"
Those "friends" then blabbed to the press. Trustworthy folk.
Rachel Uchitel needs some new friends. Good luck with that.
One of the reasons why Tiger loves the pills? The erotic dreams. According to a friend of Rachel Uchitel, Tiger dreamed of his mistress ... in a menage a trois!
The other two participants: Yankees star Derek Jeter and Bones actor David Boreanaz.
Uchitel reportedly boned Boreanaz, who is married, and was linked to Jeter in the past. She got a sexy email from Woods in which he referenced the flings.
Woods' email said, according to Rachel's so-called friend (via Us Weekly): "I had a dream that we were married and I was leading the tournament."
Then, "I came home, excited to see you, and there you were getting f--ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Part of me thinks you would like that."
Naturally, this imagery took its toll on Tiger: "Now I can't get back to sleep. My body is tired, but my mind is wide awake ... need an Ambien."
Tiger Woods was apparently into kinky stuff. Stuff that has nothing to do with this random picture of him with a razor. Well, probably. Who knows with him!
So this is what Tiger Woods' life has come to. A week ago, he was probably the world's most recognizable, successful athlete, and had a stellar reputation.
Now magazines and celebrity gossip sites are talking about crazy Ambien sex and dreams he allegedly had about David Boreanaz nailing his mistress.
Just making sure everyone's clear on this.
If Nike ever cuts ties with Tiger, maybe he can secure an endorsement deal with Ambien. Think of the pitch he could give after his many experiences:
Hi. I'm Tiger Woods, winner of 14 major golf titles. Rest and relaxation are crucial to my success. When I need to get a good night's sleep, or have crazy sex with my mistress, or have lucid dreams about said mistress getting tag-teamed by a World Series champion and a fairly well-known actor, there's only one drug I turn to...