After college, however, making new friends becomes increasingly more difficult. It's hard to know whether people are open to having a new friend or are just being polite, and it can be tricky finding people you hit if off with, especially when you've moved to a new place. Although it may take some effort, finding new BFFs isn't impossible however.
Tip #1: Hang Out With Co-Workers
Perhaps the easiest way to make new friends is to hang-out with the people you spend most of your time with anyway. If you work at the same company or have similar jobs, then you already have something in common and studies have shown that having at least one work friend reduces stress levels and increases work productively significantly.
If there aren't already any built-in opportunities for socializing at your office, try sending a casual email to see if anyone wants to meet up for lunch or knows any good places for after-work drinks. Just be careful that you don't fall into a trap and gossip and/or bad-mouth your boss as a way to get chummy after-hours. You may think what you've said is in confidence, but it could come back to haunt you.
Tip #2: Figure Out What You're Looking for in a Friend
Many dating columnists, myself included, always stress making a list about what you want in a potential mate before you begin dating, and, likewise, it's equally beneficial to make a list of you want in a friend. Of course, everyone hopes that to find friends who are caring and honest, but try to be more specific: what do you envision yourself doing with your new friends? Do you want a shopping partner? An art-loving friend who will check out museums with you? A friend who has the same spiritual beliefs? If you can decide specifically what interests you'd like your future friends to share, you'll have an easier time finding ways, such as joining a Meetup.com group, to meet those types of people.
Tip #3: Make Personal Business Cards
You never know where you might meet a potential friend: the grocery store, a yoga studio, your university's alumni association. However, after chatting with someone, instead of just walking away, make an effort to exchange numbers or email or at least give them yours. If you don't want to give them your work email or phone number (especially if your boss isn't so keen on you making personal calls during the day) make up a personal business card with just your name, cell number, and/or email. Giving someone a business card is the easiest way to exchange info and many printing companies, like Vistaprint.com, offer free cards in exchange for putting their advertising on the back.
Tip #4: Avoid Potential Frenenemies
As much as you would like to make new friends, however, it's important not to befriend people who will ultimately cause you more distress than joy. As fabulous as a potential friend may be, if she is passive aggressive or if criticizes you, even subtly, then it's best to avoid her like the swine flu because, most likely, it will only get worse, not better.
Where are the best places to meet new friends post-college? Share your experiences in the comments section below.
