Treat Mom to a fabulous getaway

Spa getaways aren't just for girlfriends or couples anymore. They're the perfect way to spend quality time with the most important lady in your life: Mom. For a last-minute Mother's Day getaway, here are two affordable East Coast spa resorts to consider:

Spa getaways for the city mom

Las Vegas isn't the only city with luxury hotels, spas and casinos. For a sure bet closer to home, escape to Atlantic City's upscale Borgata Hotel, Casino and Spa and its boutique property, The Water Club. Room rates for Mother's Day weekend range from $149 to $469 per night.

Especially for Mom, the Borgata's Spa Toccare and the Immersion Spa at the Water Club are offering signature seasonal treatments: Spa Toccare's 3-in-1 Borgata Bliss Experience (100 minutes, $275) includes a body scrub, immersion in a hydrotherapy bath and a heavenly Swedish massage; and the Immersion Spa's Slimming Detox Ritual (105 minutes, $275) offers a detoxifying experience beginning with a bath with herbal extracts and ending with a salt scrub and body-slimming gel that help eliminate toxins and leave the skin looking and feeling firmer.

After your pampering sessions, catch up on mother-daughter bonding poolside at the Immersion's jaw-dropping indoor infinity-edge lap pool with sweeping floor-to-ceiling views of the Atlantic shore. Then, head to the Wolfgang Puck American Grille for a sumptuous Mother's Day brunch. In addition to staples like French toast and yogurt-and-granola parfait, specialty menu items include: "My Aunt Dee's Easter prosciutto pie with marinated cantaloupe"; house-smoked salmon pizza with soft scrambled eggs; and grilled ribeye steak and eggs with wild mushroom frittata and Tuscan potatoes.

To make your giddy mother-daughter getaway complete, hit the slots or surprise Mom with tickets to see one of the fabulous shows.

READ MORE » Treat Mom to a fabulous getaway

Treat Mom to a fabulous getaway

Spa getaways aren't just for girlfriends or couples anymore. They're the perfect way to spend quality time with the most important lady in your life: Mom. For a last-minute Mother's Day getaway, here are two affordable East Coast spa resorts to consider:

Spa getaways for the country mom

Take Mom on a well-deserved weekend getaway or day trip to the Grand Cascades Lodge at Crystal Springs about an hour outside of New York City in Hardyston, New Jersey. The Adirondack-style, 250-room resort (rates start at $269 per night) is home to the new day spa, Reflections. The elegant, red-and-crystal-accented spa is a complementary contrast to the rustic looking lodge and is highlighted by an 8,000-quartz-crystal ceiling, Thai yoga massage suite and one-of-a-kind treatments like the Chardonnay Vinotherapy Massage (50 minutes, $100) incorporating wine from the lodge's award-winning, 60,000-plus-bottle wine cellar.

Give Mom a taste of the glamorous life with Reflections' indulgent Red Carpet Facial (100 minutes, $210). The facial takes several steps to ensure that Mom leaves feeling rejuvenated, including the use of a "liquid gold" protein enzyme to stimulate and dramatically improve the skin's appearance; a stimulating cinnamon enzyme peel that increases lymphatic drainage while deep-cleansing each pore; and two soy protein masks layered over the peel for a detoxifying and tightening effect. While the masks dry, a luxurious anti-aging massage cream is smoothed over the hands and arms. Reflections also offers prenatal specific treatments for Moms-to-be.

Relaxing options abound for the rest of your spa lady weekend at the lush Grand Cascades Lodge. Go for a decadent brunch at the Crystal Tavern, with its picturesque views of the sprawling resort. Then hit the green. Exclusively during Mother's Day Week (May 10 to 15), Moms golf for free at Crystal Springs.

READ MORE » Treat Mom to a fabulous getaway

How to sell yourself on a date

When all else fails, smile

#1 Brand yourself

The most dreaded of all get-to-know you questions, whether on a job interview or a first date, is the vague “So tell me about yourself.” (It's technically not even a question as much as annoying demand!)

Instead of snapping back “Well, what do you want to know?” or stammering “What exactly are you looking for?” while stalling for time, the savvy interviewee/dater assumes a question like this will come up and has an answer ready that sums up her essence, dreams, and strengths in one sentence or less. In short, brand yourself. Don’t just rattle off the events of your life in chronological order, but think of it as a personal mission statement.

Bad example:

“Well, I grew up in San Jose, which was really boring, so I decided to buy a car and move to LA. And, well, here I am.”

Good example:

“I'm a certified yoga instructor, huge theatre buff, and am working hard on launching an online pet accessory store, which I’m super-psyched about.”

Some questions to ask yourself when crafting your mantra:

What are your strengths? What are you passionate about? Why do your friends like you? What do you hope to become famous for? If you were ice cream, what flavor would you be?

#2 Do your research

Articles with titles like “Land that Job!” and “Ace That Interview!” always stress the importance of researching the company you are applying for. And there's no reason not to do the same for your date.

With a quick click of a mouse, it’s possible to find out whether your date is married, has a criminal record, or (jackpot!) what his thoughts are about life on his blog.

And while some facts may be more relevant than others, if you feel like a stalker knowing information about him that hasn’t yet made its way into the conversation then don’t freak out and ruin the date. Instead, 'fess up. “So I happened to Google you and thought it was fascinating that…” is a complimentary way to go about it.

#3 Listen, then ask thoughtful questions

At the end of the interview, many potential employers will ask if you have any questions, giving you the opportunity to both demonstrate your interest and strut your stuff intelligence-wise. While a date may not give you the same opening, it’s still important to have at least 4 or 5 thought-out questions to fill the void during any lull in conversation.

A tactful “Why did the last person quit?”, for example, is always revealing. At some point, you will want to find out about the other person’s dating past and why he is on the market. And although you should expect that his answer might be vague or spun in a way to make him look sympathetic, there is still much to be learned from how he answers.

For example, “It wasn’t a perfect fit,” is a mature acknowledgement that sometimes relationships don’t work although no one is to blame, where as “That bitch cheated on me” might signify that he’s still a little angry about his last break-up and not ready to move on.

#4 The follow-up

Sending a thank-you note is always considered proper etiquette after a job interview as it lets them know you’re courteous and interested. While you should never thank a guy for dating you (seriously, no!) being assertive and sending an email letting him know you had a nice time is a smart idea.

However, be aware that the timing of said email will affect how it’s perceived. An email five minutes after your date ended seems desperate. After all, you’ve barely had time to digest your food, much less your feelings -- so try to hold off on emailing a follow-up for at least 24 hours (but don't wait more than three days, either).

In the meantime, you, the now savvy dater, aren’t waiting by the phone. You are out there networking (aka hitting up your friends to refer you to any cute guys they know) and prepping for your next job interview…er, date.

READ MORE » How to sell yourself on a date

The perfect girl is...

Thanks to Mel Gibson, we know what women want, but what traits do men find attractive in a potential girlfriend? After an informal survey of friends and colleagues, here's what I found out.

1. "A Good Girl"

"She's a good girl, a keeper," said Jay on last week's episode of MTV's newest reality juggernaut "The City" when mulling over whether to take his relationship with Whitney to the next level. But what does that mean, "a good girl?"

James, 24, knows how to spot a woman with girlfriend potential when he sees her: "She's not a hard-partier or a Paris Hilton wanna-be. She respects me and makes me look good," he states. In addition, if Whitney Port is any example, a good girl is trustworthy, honest, a loyal friend, and has film cameras following her every move. (Ok, well, maybe not that last one.)

2. A Nice Body

I'm not going to mince words with you ladies; nearly all of the men I talked to rated some attribute of a woman's physique as being important to them. This doesn't mean you have to look like Salma Hayek (or on the other side of the spectrum, Gwyneth Paltrow) to land a boyfriend, but you do have to take care of yourself and not look like a slob. Whether it's daily yoga, Pilates or a once a week hike, find a way to keep your body trim and keep those flabby chicken arms at bay. And don't give me that "I hate the gym" line because I hate the gym too. However, there are ways of burning calories that are fun, like going out dancing a few nights a week with friends or just rockin' it out at home with your iPod.

3. An Independent Spirit

Men do not like clingy, desperate, co-dependent, controlling, or jealous women. I know as I write this, there will those of you sitting in front of your computer screen thinking "Well, I'm none of those things." But are you?

"There is a certain type of woman whose always calling up and who gets mad when you're out with your friends because she says you weren't paying enough attention to her. I always steer-clear of those," says Rob, 43.

Every dating book in the world gives this advice, but it bears repeating here: Don't make your life about finding a boyfriend because it's like watching a pot of water boil. It will be frustrating and seem never ending if you focus on it too intently. And when you do find one, don't make him the center of your universe either. A boyfriend should be a complement to your already happy life, not the driving force.

4. An Appreciation for Life's Pleasures

"Happy, fun women who enjoy sex and can appreciate the occasional off-color joke," said Alex, 27, on what gives women girlfriend-potential status. 'Nuff said.

READ MORE » The perfect girl is...

A look back at the Manolo Mafia

Carrie Bradshaw. A girl can't write her own sex column without typing in the shadow of Candace Bushnell's character, the curly haired authority on love and sex. But it makes me wonder, was Sex [and the City] really that good for real women?

When I first started watching the show, I was a teen and enraptured with the fashion, and my early sexual awareness made me feel relieved to hear sex talked about in the open. (When you're learning how to do it, you want to hear all about it, right?) I mean, Erica Jong's Fear of Flying -- which opened the doors for women to talk about sex frankly -- had been out there since my parents' generation, but that book didn't appear in my life until years later when I was ready to explore Monogamy. Sex was like reading Seventeen when you were 12 and Cosmo when you hit 17.

Looking at Sex now, with the eyes of a twenty-something, I can't help but feel sorry for the Manolo Mafia's state of affairs. The adolescent pleasures of the show have turned into a sort of cautionary tale about the search for love and sex. All -- bar Samantha -- get screwed over time and time again, enduring endless hardship because they're not simply using the guys for sex or money.

The girls are afraid or unwilling to really talk to their men, assess what they want from them, then assess their compatibility for that endeavor before they jump in the sack. They seem blinded by the possibility of love without asking if that's what they want (and can get) from that man. Carrie gives us a flicker of this strength and common sense when she walks out on the "amazing orgasm" Jazz Man because he's basically a tween with zero attention span in love with his toys (read: instruments, but I'm sure a lot of you might fill the blank with "X-box").

It wouldn't make great dramatic fiction, but if these girls had a screening process whereby they devised, say, five questions to assess the suitability of their mate (You could start with "Does he turn me on?," "Does he make me laugh?" and "Are we intellectually compatible?") and were very mercenary, Big wouldn't have turned into innumerable episodes of agony.

Though we never see Samantha really "screen," she never stops her zipless fucking unless he's worth it. And as soon as her feelings say otherwise, she's out. Remember Richard the hotelier? The fear of him cheating on her again overwhelmed the joy of their relationship and out she walked, taking care of herself like a good girl should.

I'm not advocating rampant promiscuity. Nor will I try to convert you to my kinky corner over the course of these columns, but I will do my best to lay out as many possibilities for pleasure as I can dig up, all with the attitude that you, as I said, deserve exactly what you want and shouldn't pause for anything but the best. After all, sex is supposed to be fun (safe and consensual).

So, ladies, follow your feelings when it comes to the boys, and until a non-agonizing Big turns up, I'll keep you up to speed about all things sexy and maybe unlock the doors to the gardens of desire…from erotic films and toys to How-Tos. Happy reading!

READ MORE » A look back at the Manolo Mafia