Angelina Pivarnick Tries, Fails to Rap

"I take a shot ... I take a shot ... It hits the spot ... Then dance a lot ... Until I drop ... I shop ... And shop ... I just can't stop ..." - Angelina Pivarnick, "I'm Hot"
If you enjoy tone-deaf raps about shopping, drinking and punching girls, then the evil Jersey Shore castoff's debut single is going to be right up your alley.

The painful one proclaims, "You can't replace ... Or crowd my space ... So step off bitch ... Or I'll punch your face!" So HARD! Listen here and prepare to LOL:

Angelina Pivarnick Song

Upon the release of this hilariously awfulness, Angelina Pivarnick claims she tried to stop it, alleging the producer allegedly screwed her over. Riiight.
She says: "I didn't wanna release the song yet, truthfully I think the song needed a lot more work!! In blunt terms it sucked!!" Yep, it sure did.

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Total Nut Job Sues For Custody of Celebrity Babies

There are a lot of complete wackos out in the U.S. prison system, but very few of them (probably for the best) hand-write court papers and file lawsuits.

Jonathan Lee Riches (a.k.a. Bernard Madoff) is one of the chosen few.

In a recent court declaration, the Indiana inmate sued for custody of the eight kids of Jon and Kate Gosselin and the offspring of Octomom Nadya Suleman.

Oh, and in a political bombshell, Frances Quinn Hunter, the love child of Rielle Hunter believed to have been fathered by John Edwards, is apparently his too!

Riches also wants custody, for some reason, of the kids on ABC's soap opera All My Children, and is demanding a paternity test on Bristol Palin's son Tripp.

Guess he's not entirely sure he's the father and not Levi Johnston.

Jon Gosselin is totally off the hook for child support now!

More little-known facts revealed in Jonathan Lee Riches' lawsuit:

• He met Kate Gosselin at a Harrisburg, Pa., Long John Silvers, where they dined on octopus before he accompanied her to a fertility clinic in 2002, at which point his "sperm was added to the mix." At least he got his dates right.
• TLC really stands for Torturing Little Children (he may have a point there).
• Jon Gosselin is really a woman on steroids (a stretch, but we'll buy it).
• He has nude pics of Jon and Deanna Hummel at a Holiday Inn Express.
• He is seeking "federal custody" of his 16 kids (whatever that means).
• He has already sued Brad Pitt (he cites "Riches vs. Pitt"), Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Aniston, Hannah Montana and Black History Month (!?), all of whom/which may or may not be in possession of his sperm.

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Balloon Boy Announcement, Press Conference Captivate Nation, Waste Everyone's Time

Earlier today, Richard Heene, the strange father of Balloon Boy Falcon Heene, said he was going to be making a big announcement at a press conference.

His announcement? That he is setting up a suggestion box.

We're as perplexed as you.

Richard Heene spoke for only about a minute, telling the media that he doesn't get cable so he has no idea what people are saying about his family.

So he put a box out in front of his house so people can drop questions in, on sheets of paper (so old-fashioned). It is already bursting with questions.

Heene says he will come back later and answer them. That will occur at 9:30 EST this evening. We know will be refreshing this page over and over.

Balloon Boy Hoax?

Balloon Boy's dad, Richard Heene, sure is milking this thing.

Richard did say that Thursday's drama - in which Falcon Heene, 6, was thought to be hurtling toward the heavens in a homemade balloon he was later revealed not to be aboard - was totally not a hoax. The authorities are looking into that, however.

A rep for the Sheriff's Department in Larimer County, Colorado, says they will interview Heene family again Monday - unless Richard says something moronic (fairly likely) at tonight's press conference, in which case they'll do so sooner.

The department originally planned to speak to the weird family today, but decided to give their officers the weekend off. However, they will be keeping an eye on the ridiculous question box press conference scheduled for tonight.

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